Sep 28, 2011

What to Sacrifice?

That post title could lead into so many things. I bet most of you thought I'd be talking about cutting things off my to-do list. Au contraire, my friends. I am adding to my to-do list because apparently I want it to not only cover the circumference of this planet but also those of the other 7 (8?) planets in the solar system.

So what is it that I am adding to my to-do list? More like, what am I not adding.

Okay, okay, I'm getting to the point: I want to make social networking my bitch!

Go make me a sandwich, Zuckerberg! (btw, the soundtrack to your unauthorized biopic is mind-blowing)

You see, dear readers, I have been meaning to conquer social networking sites for two years now. I want them working for me and not the other way around. 

Twitter is the easiest to conquer, but I still have opportunities there - blankets to nest in. 

Facebook changes every seven days, so that has been a game of cat and mouse. meow. 

Google+...I have no effing idea what to even say about that maze. Where's my f*cking cheese, yo?!

tumblr, LinkedIn, and the others can stay in the background for now. I don't have energy for those.

What am I forgetting??? Oh yeah, perhaps my best friend, or what should be, this place: Am I using this platform to its fullest potential? Not by any means. What else can I do?

Enough questions. My new goal is to find the damn answers.

The correct answer does not involve sacrificing things from my to-do list - I need to multi-task like my mother did while doing the dishes, yelling at the five of us kids, and carrying on a lovely conversation about hydrangeas on the telephone. What I mean to say is adding this social networking challenge to my list cannot make me into a monster. I need to gracefully multitask. I shall plie and/or curtsy after completing each task.

The point of all this, I need to find an offering for the tech gods as I take on this social networking endeavor. At first I was thinking a lamb, but I hear the tech gods have a thing for circuit boards. I am heading to the basement to look through the boxes marked RELICS OF THE 1980's AND 90's. Oh, look, a bag phone!

This open-ended series between Heather and me is sure to be interesting. Please join us in any fashion by giving us advice or posting your own trials and tribulations of sticking it to the tech gods.

But, seriously, who moved my cheese?


  1. Sorry, I think I ate the cheese. Nom nom nom.

  2. Anna, you can have the cheese, if I can have the cheesecake!

    J--I think that the differences between our two posts is hilarious. You are conquering the world, and I am trying not to trip over my own feet.


  3. Also--I read that multitasking line as if it was a swear:

    Multi-task like a MOTHER

    Still, rofl. I crack myself up.

  4. Somewhere here there's a joke about cutting the cheese...

    I'm no where near the cutting edge, I feel like I'm always playing catch up with the social network thing. I try, though.

  5. Make sure you check my and Alex's blogs on Friday. We have something cool coming up that should help.

  6. HAHA--Where's my f*cking cheese, yo?!
    My only advice is to put a time limit for each. 30 minutes on twitter for example and then turn it OFF for a couple of hours so you can get other thigns DONE. Everyone will still be there when you get back! GOOD LUCK!

  7. ROFL!! It was a good thing I'd already swallowed my water or I might have given Harry (my laptop) an unintended shower. Whew! Crisis averted.

    Aside from that, I have almost no idea what you're talking about, but that's okay. It's sure to be a fun ride, whatever it is!

  8. Wait, did someone say wine and cheese? I'm so there!

    Okay, I've got a handle on Twitter and I've been using Facebook for some time -- BUT, if Facebook won't let me control my own profile page and decides who gets to see my posts, then I might end up phasing out FB. Zuckerberg must be a real control freak who doesn't like people using HIS invention THEIR way.

    As for Google+ -- I love the Hangouts, but otherwise, it seems like an empty version of Facebook. Seriously, I think I saw some tumbleweeds blow by.

    Tumblir ... I just don't get it. Honestly, I tried but it confused me. And Linked In -- if you're not job hunting, what good is it?

  9. Anna - Not fair!

    Heather x 100 - LOL x 100!!

    Kris - You are a fantastic networker. I envy your platform.

    Matt - I'll be there!

    Christina - I like the time limit idea!

  10. Ali - Yay for Harry. Mine comp is Prudence. And yeah, I wasn't very clear about how I outlined my series, but that was intended :P

    Dianne - That was thorough! Thanks for the comment.

    Anita - Who said anything about burning? There are other ways to sacrifice by ingestion.

  11. Thank you, Jon, for this post, exactly how I should be thinking. Around social networking, I've been stuck in Robert Cormier's I AM THE CHEESE, my favorite book of junior high, as in "the cheese stands alone," exactly not where we writers should be today.

  12. Love the voice in this post, Jon. Edgy, but friendly!!! That's a cool mix.