Feb 1, 2012

Creative Writing, Unedited

In order for me to commit any time to my blog beyond the blog chain posts, I need to double duty some things. I am going to start posting some of my writings from my creative writing class.

Today, I am posting my writing based on the following prompt: write a word portrait of an old person who is extremely happy. And another of someone who is filled with rage and hate.

Her eyebrows are a parabolic arch and stretch deep into the soft white plains of her forehead.
The cerulean irises of her eyes suck in the light off the mostly white canvas before her. The light radiates out from her eyes, in the same pattern as her shallow wrinkles. As the light scatters across her face, her winkles form low valleys of shadows and high hills white with light. Closest to her eyes, the contrast between the hills and valleys is greatest. Further from the eyes, the valleys sweep across the side of her face in the shape of eyelashes until they fade up into the hairline.
Between the eyes, the nose is wrinkled with supple horizontal lines and age spots that resemble the striations in the bark of a birch tree. Down the blunt, black-diamond slope of the nose begins her laugh lines. They are at an obtuse angle, about one hundred ten degrees, and lie distinctly below her bulbous, rosy cheeks. Between the open mouth crocodile laugh lines is her mouth.
Her lips are stretched thin in an upward arc, like a hot red Corvette ready for winter storage storage. Jutting out from under the upper lip are four big, milk-white teeth, flanked by smaller teeth on both sides. The bottom row of teeth peeks just above the bottom lip in a coy effort to stay hidden. Behind the teeth, her tongue sits shaped and colored just like a red blood cell. It’s close to coming out, in which case she’d be sticking out her tongue.
Her chin sharply juts out and her age shows the most as her skin looks like vellum over a turned oak newel.

Her eyebrows stick out well over her eyes, making hr irises look like light trapped at the back of a cave. Ridges in the shape of the Finger Lakes of Upstate New York creep across her forehead and upper nose. A deep, horizontal crevice breaks her nose into two, the bottom half is red on the bulb of the nose and white at the edges and in the cracks. Glasses at the end of her nose hang on for dear life. Stray lines run in downward arcs from the eyes and meet up with sharp, ridged cheekbones that look  like they’d hurt to knock on.
Below the skeletal cheeks, lips clench so tight they look like they might burst. The chin looks like a crumpled up brown paper lunch sack. Her laugh lines are sharp and deep, but head downward into droopy jowls.

And there ya have one of my first assignments, unedited. Hopefully, I stay brave enough to most more.


  1. Stay brave. Writing takes courage. I'm using this idea to play with one of my secondary characters. Thanks for the idea!!!

    1. Thanks, Rebecca! I liked the exercise, but it was freaking hard. I am waiting to receive feedback.

  2. Love the cave description! Thanks for sharing!!

  3. Rather than have descriptions of the characters in their static states, maybe you want to put them into some form of action (any act that accents who they are) and describe them in dynamic form. Just a thought.

    I'm with Rebecca above: stay brave and keep slugging away at writing.

    1. I should have said this in my post, but the reason I did not show any action is because my professor referred to them as word portraits and so I decided to make it seem like a painting of a photograph.

  4. keep writing..you could make it perfect ;)

  5. I'd love to hear more about your creative writing class. This seems like it would be a fun assignment to do. Keep up the good work.

    Also, writing is all about being brave. In every single way there is.