Feb 3, 2010

wTf? wEdNeSdAy! My selections for March is Classic and a skippable personal blurb

wTf? wEdNeSdAy!  Everyone needs a day to say wtf?  What better day than Hump Day?

So, seriously WTF?!?!?!?!?!  Was yesterday a full moon?  Had to be.  No, it was Saturday.  Nope.  Nuhuh.  Tuesday, February 2, 2010 was one FULL MF*ing MOON of a day!

Taking a cue from Hank Green, I am presenting today's post in two parts.  Part One is a little personal and in blue.  If you'd rather not know, skip to Part Deux (because everyone else is doing it) which is in green.

Part One:
Okay, so all was fine and dandy as I finally got reinvigorated about a middle grade whip through the helpful words of Heather Kelly and her suggestion of The Snowflake Method.  I printed off pages from Randy Ingermanson's website and took them to work with me.  When I pull into my parking space at work, I notice watter all over the passenger seat and the Pier 1 Imports re-usable shopping bag I carry with me.  I look around and realize the water is coming from inside my bag.  Now, this bag, ladies and gentlemen, is totally my attempt at a murse.  Okay, well, basically it's a wallet, pharmacy, and green look all-in-one.  I carry it everywhere.  Well, everything got soaked.  (I determined the source of the water to be a big drip off our roof.  The house is poorly insulated)  My name tag for work, my current read from the library, and of course, the pages that The Snowflake Method was on.  I got into work and started laying the contents of my bag on the counter to dry.  You guys don't know much about my work, I like it that way.  But, you should know that it is a video rental store with bright pink, yes pink, fuschia counters.  So, here are my belongings strewn allover the place and then we get SLAMMED.  Everyone and their first, second, and third removed cousins were in.  It became a cluster f of family reunuions.  It was heartwarming in the sense that I felt a heart attack coming on.
So, then it got slow and I was working all by myself, like usual.  Throughout the night the computer freezes twice, I have ten people in line, the phone rings twenty-seven times, a new record, yay, and all these weirdos come in talking to me about how Brad Pitt played and Indian in Inglourious Basterds and they hated the movie...(um, I'm pretty sure he just used techniques of Native Americans...like scalping.  But he wasn't Indian.  Yeah...(think Office Space))  Oh, then this guy listening to a yellow walkman, yup a walkman, as in from last millennium!  So he walks in and starts giving me the life story of Charles Bukowski and Jack Kerouac and the hippy bus that went from the West to the East and drugs.  I'm like, whoa dude, it's 8:55 and we close in five minutes...  I was ripping my hair out in my head.

There's actually another quick story about Inglourious Basterds.  A guy was looking for something to rent, so I went down the list of things I'd recommend.  I got to IB and he says, "That movie looks gay."  I nonchalantly said, "Well, I'm gay and I loved it."  He kinda just sauntered away.

So the night was not all bad.  At 8:30 I received a voicemail from a manager at Home Depot saying that she was looking at my employment application and had some questions.  I did a fourteen second happy dance and then called her back.. We were dead at that moment.  Well, being a big store, of course you have to go through 6.5 million prompts before you speak with a human.  In the end, I just pressed "0".  
"Home Depot Help Desk, this is _______, how may I help you?"  
Me: "Hello, my name is Jonathon Arntson and I just received a call from...," and this is where I forget the name of the lady that had just called me.  It was like Juneau or Alaska or something...."um, from Elka."
Other end: "Oh, let me transfer you."
That was easy, I thought.
Other end: "Oh, it seems she's not here, when did she call you?"
Me: "About five minutes ago."
Other end: "Okay, let me...I'll be right back, will you hold?"
Me: "Of course."  The perk was oozing from my cheeks like The Blob as it terrorizes the streets of New York or Tokyo or Levittown.  So I'm standing at the counter of my work and still no customers have come in.  I wait.  And wait.  And then, a customer walks in and grabs a movie in two seconds and then comes to the counter.  And two seconds later,
Other end (Elke): "Hello, this is Elke"
Me: "Um, hi this is Jonathon.  Um, I'm sorry, but I'll be right back."  I set the phone down and ring up the guy with the video super fast, and quiet.  He leaves, I pick up the phone.
Me: "Elke, I'm so sorry, we have a new puppy," which is true, "and I just had an emergency," which is...almost true?
Okay, I'll move on for ya, in the end I got an interview for Friday afternoon.  Wish me luck.

"That faucet goes so well with your blouse!"  Perk.

Oh, I almost forgot, fifteen minutes before I closed, a women called for The Music Man, which happens to be one of my favorite movies.  We talked and laughed for seven minutes about our favorite parts.  It was a great end to an uber odd day.  Eek gawds!  We didn't have it, btw.

Part Deux:
I have gotten an overwhelming amount of feedback regarding my March is Classic event.  Thanks guys.  Ultimately, I have decided to cancel, quit, sayonara.  Haha, so kidding.  Okay here is the official, I can change it if I wanna list:
1. Island of the Blue Dolphin
2. Catcher in the Rye
3. Watership Down
4. Wind in the Willows
5. East of Eden
6. The Jungle (I boughtthis for ten cents at the college across the street from my house and forgot about it, I have to add it to the list)
So, there is it THE LIST.  My hope is that I find a passion in the notion of a classic book and that there won;t have to be another March is Classic if I don't need there to be.  Here's this, since Void said he liked it (in case you couldn't tell, I also designed all the banners for my days of the week segments.):  <<<< not a frown.

If you read all this, you are a super duper Jon's Life trooper and I thank you for glimpsing into and surviving this tidbit about my personal life.  It won't happen again.  I promise.  This week, at least.

I'll be reminding you of this all week, so if you already know, then just skip over and get commenting.

Don't forget about Something About Me Saturday (SAMS)!  Post your questions in any comment this week under the headline SAMS.  Kelly asked some good ones the other day.


  1. *doing a little happy dance that I'm first for the second day in a row* It pays to get up early!

    Oh, man. I'm so sorry that your library book got wet. Is it okay? Where did the water come from? (I know totally beside the point, but for some reason, that detail--I want to know.)

    I had no idea that people still used video rental stores to rent DVDs. When I drive past blockbuster, I am seriously surprised to see it still in business.

    I hope you have a better day today. Congrats on the new lead for another job.

    And, the books--sounds like a good list.

  2. "i'm gay and i loved it."

    holy chopotle, i love you!

  3. That was a nice little peek into your daily life, Jonathan! I was wondering as well about where the water came from. You wrote a book on your blog and omitted that piece of info, wtf? ;)
    You sound like a friendly guy to rent movies from! Good luck at Home Depot!!

  4. HK - Yay for you! I forgot to tell where the water came from? I suck as a writer. Okay, I am editing the post, but so you know the roof. The book is okay, I stood it up and dried out the pages.

    Kerra - I love you too.
    (For anyone that is concerned, she's my big sis, as in one of the freaks posing with me in my profile picture. The other girl is my lil sis.)

  5. Kelly - You were commenting when I was, so I almost missed ya. See the my other comment or the edited post.
    Thanks for the well wishes!

  6. Okay I am happy with this line up. After Heather, after your sister, after Kelly. That suits me just fine, even feels appropriate. I'll have you know I read the post the whole way through, edited version. Loved it.

    My only comment, switch East of Eden to Grapes of Wrath. Or also, Steinbeck has some awesome short ones if the month gets to hard for you or you start writing like crazy.

  7. Tina - Thanks, friend. I have read GRAPES, and not EDEN, so there's the reason behind that pick. Also, EDEN is the only long book I choose. gotta get a long one in there, but I like the idea of short stories to...
    Then, that brings Fitzgerald and Hemingway into the picture...

    Dammit, Tina. Suggestions are over!

  8. Does reading the cliff notes count? Or a synopsis on Amazon - for March is classic? :)

  9. 1. I am going to start using the phrase, "Holy Chipotle!" (aren't sisters wonderful?)
    2. I'm going to do a March reading theme too. March Madness March and read about basketball or insane people. Okay, I'm really not. Good luck with your classics! :) I finally read Pride and Prejudice last year. I think I read one classic per couple of years...

  10. Laura and I had words at her blog.

    Kelly - 1.She's full of 'em. She could brand them and sell them and be famous faster than I can write a chapter.
    2. I never read classics, I buy them based on their nostalgic value...then they just sit there. I am going to be a reformed man, I tell ya! A reformed man!

  11. My fave section of this post: The Inglourious Basterds anecdote. My co-workers say "that's so gay" all the time in the office. Which is funny for a company that is so publicly focused on diversity. And the fact that one of our supervising executives for our projects is openly gay.

    Anyway, I digress. Great post. Glad we're blogosphere buds.

    Oh and my word verification: gonsitir. I'm thinking obscure Eastern-style weapon. Or a new STD. You decide. :)

  12. I'm glad you've got a job interview! That's great news. I'm not sure which is worse, the "murse" (which made me LOL!) or the water all over the snowflake method. I actually think that's good as that kind of thinking/outlining freaks me out.

  13. OMG! From now on any prefice of it being a "personal" story will earn it an extra close reading from me. Totally hilarious! And congrats on the job interview. :) Go show Elke your stuff!

  14. ROFL! You are one crazy and funny guy, Jonathon. I agree with Kelly about "holy chipotle" being one of my new favorite sayings! When I get done laughing, I may re-read the whole post just for fun.

    P.S. Thanks for being such a great commenter on all of our blogs. I don't know how you find the time to show up and leave such fun comments on everyone's blogs every day! :-)

  15. I agree - you're a top notch commenter, watch you don't burn out because I want to keep reading this blog. It's got to be one of the most creative I've discovered.

  16. Brandon - Gonsitir is definitely both.

    Elana - It is actually working for me...I am not getting ahead of myself, like I normally do.

    Anissa - Noted and thanks!

    Shannon - Neither do I, but thanks!

    Terry - Aw, thanks. I can guarantee a burnout will not occur. I may lessen do to other projects, but there will be no dropping of the map.

  17. Good luck on your interview!!!

    I really have the urge to see "Inglorious Basterds" now.

  18. Haha I'm a Trooper! Can I be a Tubular Trooper? That would make me happy.

    I *loved* the personal stuff. Fourteen second happy dance? *snarf*

    Congrats on the interview Jon!

  19. Ali, can you be a tubular trooper? You are a tubular trooper!