Mar 18, 2013

Turtles, Water, and Other Fears

I talk a lot about fears. They are a prevailing force in my life. Why I give that much power to the moments I feel weakest is beyond me. A few years ago, I proclaimed that I would go on a conquest to abolish my fears. I said that I would hold a turtle in my hand before the end of the year and skydive over Lake Michigan. I thought those experiences and several more would make a great book.

I have not gone on that eradication expedition. There's still time. As I create schemes to challenge myself, I become aware of more fears. The more I meditate, the more accepting I am of those fears. I am in an foreseen cycle that seems to be more effective than my idea of taking on my fears.

Beside meditation, another part of the cycle that has helped in a book by Dr Susan Jeffers titled Feel the Fear ...And Do it Anyway. So far, the biggest thing she's taught me is that fears do not disappear. It's how we handle them that change. And if we do not feel any fear in our life, then we know we're not challenging ourselves.

I'm all about challenges, both physical and introspective. You already know this. But I am constantly wondering what it is it for? Why do I challenge myself? Is it for the outcome or is it for the journey? I posted about jumping off the breakwall last summer in an effort to overcome my fear of water. I am still freaking scared of water, but I better understand its place in my life.

Even as I write this post, I wonder where I go from here. Do I kick it up a notch, or do I continue on this journey of acceptance? I think a combination of the two is the way to go. I need to push myself to finally hold that scary ass turtle in my hand, but I need to journal before and after that experience.


  1. I love to challenge myself too, but I've never wondered until now if it's for the journey or outcome. Good question. Hmmm.

    1. I'm in favor of the idea that there aren't really any outcomes--that everything is a part of the journey. So, perhaps that answers my question and yours?

  2. Challenges define us, but so do the ways we manage to avoid them. :) That's kind of solving them, right? Bah! All I want to do is melt crayons.

    I need more caffeine.

    The Whispering Ferns

  3. Skydiving is not a fear I am willing to face. :) I am trying to give over my fears to the universe--because if I think about how scared I am about what I am doing right now, with the non-profit and other writing things, then I would paralyze myself. UNIVERSE, I give it to you!

    Those crayons ROCK!

  4. I used to really want to skydive. Then I got old.