Thinking about time passing is painful. I tend to think of all I've lost rather than what I've gained.
When I last posted on this blog, I was at the height of optimism. I was 27, fit, and sharp. I had finally completed an associates degree at West Shore Community College in Mason County, Michigan (2020 population: 29k). I was a month away from beginning my transferred studies at Wayne State University. I moved to Detroit, a metro area with 4.3 million people. As soon as I arrived, I started sinking into what was to be the darkest, scariest time of my life. I was nearly homeless. I was sick all the time. I failed multiple college courses after receiving all As in the terms and years before. I was abused and taken advantage of by someone I had trusted. I finally recognized I had a problem the afternoon I drank from a bottle of Trader Joe's bubbly, watched the remake of Grey Gardens, and wept in the bathtub for three hours. What I thought was the time for me to break away and take flight ended up being more like a feeble iceberg breaking away and sinking slowly.
I do not regret any of it.
Nearly ten years later, I am not using as many poorly constructed metaphors but my writing remains complex and trite. I think this space is about to become the sections of my memoir that I am leaving out or need to work with more. Are you up for that?