Meat-Free

Starting this week, I will not eat meat four days a week. I haven't explained my system yet, but it's kinda fun. And I will not explain my justifications for giving up meat until another time.

In August, I finally committed to removing meat from my diet. The plan? Start off by giving up meat one day a week. Each new month: add a day of no meat. August - 1 day. September - 2 days. October - 3 days.

November represents the tipping point - the all-in month. Now, starting tomorrow, there are fewer meat days than ever before. My system started on a Friday, so I gave up Fridays first. I have not had meat for thirteen Fridays. That was pretty damn hard considering I love fish fries. But I did it.

At the same time I gave up meat, I gave up red meat. Burgers are one of my favorite things in the world. I love me some beef. But I knew this could be one of the things that broke my dedication. I am known as a burger guzzler.

I conquered burgers too. No burgers in the last two months.

January is the day of 6 days. I am dreading that month. Really, though, I have so much more to worry about. This change in diet, it's adding positives to my life by the week.

Thanks for listening.
Love,
Jonathon

Untitled: Clouds

I've drafted several posts in the last few weeks to update you on what's happening in my life, but I cannot write them fast enough! Anyway, my stress level is very low right now and my happiness feels sky-high.

This week, my goal is to make sure I touch the ground before my mind goes too far into the clouds.

Good music:
Kid Cudi - Just What I Am

Rainbows and Butterflies

I am currently working on my application for admission to a few universities. The first wave is Michigan State University, the University of Michigan, and Wayne State University. Each one is a powerhouse in its own way. I am hoping to get into all three so that I may chose which wave of energy I want to ride. Of course, the dilemma is that I am not sure what I want to do. That reminds me: I have a very important call to make.

I have a crazy-strong fear of talking on the phone. I cannot even order a flippin' pizza over the phone without feeling grave anxiety. Most of my fears have a definite beginning (crustaceans, dark water, turtles), but I cannot figure out the origins of this phone fear.

They say hypnosis can reveal the origins of a fear and help you to get over the fear. Of course, they say practice will too. Consider Bem's Theory of self-perception which basically says that you will adopt an attitude if you act out the behavior. If you act confidently, you will indeed become confident. If you act like a whore, you will indeed become a whore. Okay, maybe that's not what he had in mind. If you think about rainbows and butterflies all day, then you will turn into rainbows and butterflies. Is that it?

So, if I make this Super Important Career-Defining Phone Call, and act all confident in the beginning, I will become confident without even noticing. Clearly, I need to make the effing call. And I will. But first, I need to expend some negative energy from my brain.

I See Clearly

September 21-29

Artist: Richard Morse

Artist: Colleen Kelly Sander.

 

Pushing Off

I love Michigan. It's evident in my writing, and the outline of the state is tattooed on my right arm. The need and desire to get the eff outta here is also embedded in my writing and my lifestyle. Until this summer, I thought I needed to get out of Michigan for myself; I needed to find something better because I am better. But ever since I reflected on the writing of Hemingway; spent a week in Detroit in June; and slept on the beaches of Ludington; I've realized I am a product of Michigan. I am a product of Ford and Chevy, of the UofM and MSU, of Fruitport, Norton Shores, Ludington, Holland, Grandville, US31, M22, and

Lake Michigan.

And, for a couple of months, that scared the hell outta me. I pictured myself in a manufacturer's box, like a car part at AutoZone. Through July and August, I reflected on my Michiganness. Toward the end of August I decided to free myself from the anchor I had tied to myself and get the outline of Michigan tattooed on my arm. Wherever I go, I will carry with me a mark.

Dark water is one of the scariest things on earth. This summer, my friend Heather finally got me to jump off the end of the pier. The North Breakwater in Ludington is half a mile long. The two of us included the breakwall on several of our early morning runs this summer. As we were halfway to the lighthouse, we said, "We're going to jump." I looked at her smile, and said, "I know." In the weeks before that day, I had come to a sense of peace about jumping off the breakwall. I realized, if I die, I am still completing a purpose.

We sprinted to the lighthouse and stripped down to undies. It felt like ten minutes past as I stood at the precipice of time and space, but it was not even a minute. Heather was talking to me, but I wasn't listening. I hear seagulls and waves. I started to speak to the waves in my head. 

Please don't kill me...I respect you...this is for growth...fuck...I just gotta do it...

I felt like I was going to cry as I could feel the fear begin to win. Then, Heather's words started to register. "You got this," she said. I closed my mind, opened my eyes, and ran.

I am Michigan.